Idealistically

A: Everyone always says how fortunate I am that I can stay home with the children. Yes, I am grateful that my husband has a good job. However, sometimes I wonder if I would be a better mother if I did have a little job outside of the home, or something that got me out and away from house and children. I know that sounds horrible however studies show that mothers who work outside the house tend to give their children more quality time than just quantity of time. I feel I would fall into this category. However, that is not how I wish to be…

…(picture in a movie where the actress is dreaming something up and everything goes blurry and ripples like the surface of water)…

…I would love to be the happiest, and dedicated mother and wife. I would somehow have the energy to get up and be ready for the day BY 6 when I would feed the baby. Then my 7:30 I would have breakfast ready for the rest of us. After breakfast I would be able to PATIENTLY get Lace ready for the day. Then we would have a little bit of fun; go for a walk or to the park. What I especially want to have the time to do is lesson time with Lacey! After all I got my degree in child development, I should be able to use that to provide activities for her to do that would encourage her to learn. I have even created a list of things that she should be learning and improving at this age and ways to facilitate this learning. Course then throughout the day I would spend more time feeding the baby and then fixing meals for the two of us. But throughout the day I would find another time to play with her and read her stories and arrange social time with other children her age. Then at the end of the day I would have the desire and time to fix dinner and then clean up with whole house while still having the energy to have lace help with her toys. And don’t forget time to exercise before bed!

...However, realistically I don’t even have the time to clean up after breakfast is done! I’m too tired to even think about getting up before 7, but what I regret the most is that I lose patience too often with the toddler and don’t take enough time to play with her, let alone provide educational game for her.

So what's the solution? How do I live my life so I don't feel like it is running me? Clone?

Accomplished

A: 8 years ago I never would have imagined myself saying, "I wish I had been more ambitious in my education and career goals." Honestly, having a bachelors degree is a great accomplishment for me and when I think about it, I am very proud of myself. I have never considered myself to be a very smart person, in fact, truth be told I considered dropping out of high school at one point. (Although that was not strictly for academic reasons). I had the bad habit, and still do at times, of comparing myself to others abilities and not my personal best. Yet, despite my lack of self confidence and brains, I made it through what turned into 6 years of collage to receive a piece of paper that has my name on it along with a few words.
Reflecting on my accomplishment, I began to think of others that I know who are rather smarter than myself. Unfortunately, some of these individuals cannot say as much in regards to collage, simply because they lacked the motivation, determination, or interest. For myself, it is almost like I had to prove to myself that I could do it, I had to complete schooling to know that I was capable of being smart. Now that I have finished, I wish I had confidence in myself years ago.
See, after having one child and then while preparing for the second, I found myself really wanting to become a midwife. However, that is not practical at this point. I would have 8 more years probably. And this is the reason I wish I had been more ambitious. Now that I know I can learn things and remember them with practice and study, I think I could have made it...although it would have been very stressful and difficult the whole time. So now I tell Kav that when we have money in 10 years I am going to become a doula. I won't be able to "deliver" babies, but I will be there to assist the mother during child birth and be a support and resource after words, I also want to become certified to teach Hypnobirthing. This will be my hobby.

Little bit o' this, little bit o' that...

K: Spiders.  I don't likes them.  Lacey and I found a spider downstairs when we were making a bed for her two barbie dolls in a cabinet.  We both froze (well, I froze in place and wouldn't let her move).  I called up to ashton to come down and bring a cup.  You see, whenever we find a spider that is big and icky and gross, we have tried to get a good look at it to see if it is a hobo spee-i-der (watch Megamind if you're wondering why I spelled it that way).  So she comes down and traps it and starts looking at it.  I proceeded to unfreeze and let Lacey-face go.  She bent over and looked at it and said "cute little spider."  Put Lacey in bed and then went upstairs and asked Ashton what the verdict was (oh by the way, when she first looked at it, she said she thought it was a hobo).  She said that she had doubts that it was a hobo.  After reading about it, there were a couple things that ruled it out, as well as Ashton remembering that if you find different kinds of spiders (which we have found since moving here), that usually means there aren't hobos because if there are hobos, it's uncommon to have a bunch of different spiders around.  Anyways, I looked up "giant house spiders" and found this picture and would you know it, it looked just like our little friend who was trapped under a cup (if you don't like big, hairy spiders, please close your eyes now):

So there you have it - the story about our close encounter with a giant house spider that turned out not to be a hobo spee-i-der.