Idealistically

A: Everyone always says how fortunate I am that I can stay home with the children. Yes, I am grateful that my husband has a good job. However, sometimes I wonder if I would be a better mother if I did have a little job outside of the home, or something that got me out and away from house and children. I know that sounds horrible however studies show that mothers who work outside the house tend to give their children more quality time than just quantity of time. I feel I would fall into this category. However, that is not how I wish to be…

…(picture in a movie where the actress is dreaming something up and everything goes blurry and ripples like the surface of water)…

…I would love to be the happiest, and dedicated mother and wife. I would somehow have the energy to get up and be ready for the day BY 6 when I would feed the baby. Then my 7:30 I would have breakfast ready for the rest of us. After breakfast I would be able to PATIENTLY get Lace ready for the day. Then we would have a little bit of fun; go for a walk or to the park. What I especially want to have the time to do is lesson time with Lacey! After all I got my degree in child development, I should be able to use that to provide activities for her to do that would encourage her to learn. I have even created a list of things that she should be learning and improving at this age and ways to facilitate this learning. Course then throughout the day I would spend more time feeding the baby and then fixing meals for the two of us. But throughout the day I would find another time to play with her and read her stories and arrange social time with other children her age. Then at the end of the day I would have the desire and time to fix dinner and then clean up with whole house while still having the energy to have lace help with her toys. And don’t forget time to exercise before bed!

...However, realistically I don’t even have the time to clean up after breakfast is done! I’m too tired to even think about getting up before 7, but what I regret the most is that I lose patience too often with the toddler and don’t take enough time to play with her, let alone provide educational game for her.

So what's the solution? How do I live my life so I don't feel like it is running me? Clone?

Accomplished

A: 8 years ago I never would have imagined myself saying, "I wish I had been more ambitious in my education and career goals." Honestly, having a bachelors degree is a great accomplishment for me and when I think about it, I am very proud of myself. I have never considered myself to be a very smart person, in fact, truth be told I considered dropping out of high school at one point. (Although that was not strictly for academic reasons). I had the bad habit, and still do at times, of comparing myself to others abilities and not my personal best. Yet, despite my lack of self confidence and brains, I made it through what turned into 6 years of collage to receive a piece of paper that has my name on it along with a few words.
Reflecting on my accomplishment, I began to think of others that I know who are rather smarter than myself. Unfortunately, some of these individuals cannot say as much in regards to collage, simply because they lacked the motivation, determination, or interest. For myself, it is almost like I had to prove to myself that I could do it, I had to complete schooling to know that I was capable of being smart. Now that I have finished, I wish I had confidence in myself years ago.
See, after having one child and then while preparing for the second, I found myself really wanting to become a midwife. However, that is not practical at this point. I would have 8 more years probably. And this is the reason I wish I had been more ambitious. Now that I know I can learn things and remember them with practice and study, I think I could have made it...although it would have been very stressful and difficult the whole time. So now I tell Kav that when we have money in 10 years I am going to become a doula. I won't be able to "deliver" babies, but I will be there to assist the mother during child birth and be a support and resource after words, I also want to become certified to teach Hypnobirthing. This will be my hobby.

Little bit o' this, little bit o' that...

K: Spiders.  I don't likes them.  Lacey and I found a spider downstairs when we were making a bed for her two barbie dolls in a cabinet.  We both froze (well, I froze in place and wouldn't let her move).  I called up to ashton to come down and bring a cup.  You see, whenever we find a spider that is big and icky and gross, we have tried to get a good look at it to see if it is a hobo spee-i-der (watch Megamind if you're wondering why I spelled it that way).  So she comes down and traps it and starts looking at it.  I proceeded to unfreeze and let Lacey-face go.  She bent over and looked at it and said "cute little spider."  Put Lacey in bed and then went upstairs and asked Ashton what the verdict was (oh by the way, when she first looked at it, she said she thought it was a hobo).  She said that she had doubts that it was a hobo.  After reading about it, there were a couple things that ruled it out, as well as Ashton remembering that if you find different kinds of spiders (which we have found since moving here), that usually means there aren't hobos because if there are hobos, it's uncommon to have a bunch of different spiders around.  Anyways, I looked up "giant house spiders" and found this picture and would you know it, it looked just like our little friend who was trapped under a cup (if you don't like big, hairy spiders, please close your eyes now):

So there you have it - the story about our close encounter with a giant house spider that turned out not to be a hobo spee-i-der.

To feel success

I would first like to touch on the topic of accomplishments is relation to feeling success.

I don't know about you but my mood is greatly effected by how much I accomplish in a period of time. For example, Saturday mornings before my life with children. If I slept in till 8/8:30 and didn't shower and clean house right away I would loose motivation to get things done simply because I felt like I had already wasted too much time. It used to be similar with homework, if I wasn't able to focus and feel like I was getting anywhere with it, I would just want to stop.

At this time in my life I now find myself facing a daily battle for the feeling of success. I look back at my day and survey the condition of my house and think to myself, "What did I get done today?!" The list is very short as of late, usually consisting of things like clip toddlers nails, bathe the baby, call old landlord, and unpack one box. This list seems too short in comparison to the list of things to do. As a result I find myself not being frustrated with my toddlers need for attention and time but because I spend all my time caring for my two children. How do mothers of 4 or 5 survive?! Although I suppose once children can do more for themselves and once they are all on the same eating schedule it is the same as feeding one. ...mothers correct me if I'm wrong.

Now if I were to discuss this with my husband he would surely say to me that caring for children is a daily accomplishment, when taken into account all the things it requires. Meals, clean up after meals, battle of getting a toddler dressed and brushed, nap, snack, potty breaks, intervention when she is getting into something she shouldn't, and entertaining. This is just the list for the two year old, then throw in feeding and diapering every 3 hours accompanied by holding and comforting the sick baby. It may come down to the fact that I get as much done as the next mother in my situation.

Perhaps my shortcoming is that I like to see my accomplishments, if there is no physical proof that I did anything today, I did nothing. If I didn't get to organize the family room that still has boxes and couch cushions all over the place, or I didn't get to wash the dishes, "I didn't do anything today."  This is when frustration and discouragement hit, if everyday turns out to be like this one, my house will never again be clean!

What it comes down to...napping and getting enough sleep vs. cleaning. Not to mention the 15 minutes I spent typing this up, but it helps me recognize what I really feel and where the problem really lies.

I like....

K:  I like straws.  Whenever I get the chance, I use a straw when I am drinking something.  I don't know what it is, but it has become this hobby of mine... drinking water, juice, soda, homemade jamba with a straw.  Love it.

I like the iMovie app.  It's pretty rad.  My nephew Benjamin inspired me to be a filmmaker. 

I like this youtube video: 

I like to eat pizza.  In Rexburg, I would rank the pizza places as the following:

1. Pizza Pie Cafe (Though it is still Craigos to me)

2. Dominos

3. Pizza Hut

4. Little Ceasars

5. Noble Romans

6. 5 Buck Pizza

I like Tuesday night stake basketball.  I've got some good homies there...

I like that we are a week from having the keys to our very first house!!!!!!!

I don't like putting dishes from the drainer or dishwasher away after washing them.  Don't know why.

I don't like it when the home button on my iPhone doesn't work (happens way too much lately).

I like my iPhone.

I don't like noisy neighbors when you live in an apartment.

I like Ashton's homemade Jamba.

I like "gentleman's night out."  Had a blast!  Should do it more often.

I like playing texas hold'em with fake poker chips.

I don't like it when I have to "fold" playing Texas hold'em with fake poker chips.

I like it when I bluff in Texas hold'em and it actually works.

I don't like creaky floors.

I like playing with my awesome pal and sweetheart, Lacey!

I like the little girl inside Ashton's tummy.

I don't like "unexpected's" with important things.

I like shopping.

I don't like hitting bad golf shots.

I like that despite all the bad golf shots I hit that I keep golfing.

I like how Golf is kinda therapeutic in a way.

I like that I had fun doing this post.

What do you like?  Feel free to comment below...

I guess life just has to be experienced sometimes

A:
There are some experiences in life that you just have to live through before you can realize that advice or stories from others would have been very beneficial. Giving birth and buying a house are those situations I have experienced. I don't know whether I am wanting to share what I have learned or just complain that no one I know feels the need to share wisdom, experiences, or advice with me.
However, I do want to say that even if things didn't turn out any better if I had received advice than they actually did I at least would have known that I did everything to be prepared for or prevent issues. Instead I am left to feel upset and frustrated with myself for not knowing what I would have had no way of knowing unless someone else told me.
I can only hope now that things turn out okay for us and that I don't continue to feel this potentially harmful frustration.

So I guess my home buying advice would turn out to be:
- Go over the home inspection and don't only look for big problems that need to be fixed before moving in but also look for potential problems in the near future. Such as getting a furnace serviced to make sure that you aren't going to have replace it within the first year. (We don't know yet if this has happened to us yet) Then you can ask the owners to take care of that before the sale closes. (This has to be done within 3 days of the inspection though!)
- There is no such thing as "Allowances" when buying a home. Pretty much you either have to have the owner replace, fix, repair whatever the issue is or you have to offer less so that you have the money to do it yourself. However the issue then becomes that the money is coming out of your savings instead of paying them more through a loan and having higher monthly payments. Make sense?

Seeing as how we have not even closed all the way on our house I don't have any more experiences to share but I'm sure I will have a few things to add before the month is over.

32 week news

A:
My 32 week doctors appointment has proven to be interesting and provide some anxiety for the following weeks. Because Lace came early and was so unexpected, my midwife suggested an ultra-sound to see how long my cervix is. Well, not particularly looking forward to that experience again and especially anxious to hear the results I dropped Lace off at "school" and met Kav at the doctors.

After a prolonged wait, as always, they finally did the ultra sound and the doctor finally came in. First thing I hear is that he wants to give me a steroid shot to help the babies lungs, and other organs to develop faster. He proceeds to tell me that at this point in pregnancy the cervix is usually around 4 cm long, mine is 1 cm. That is exactly what I feared. So after discussing potential side effects I received a rather painful shot. I could feel the liquid going into my hip and it made me leg twitch a little. I will have to return tomorrow to receive one more shot and that will be all. However I can't help but be anxious and a little worried at how soon the baby could come. I was expecting at least another month but the way the doctor was talking she could come  in 3 weeks, he said she probably wouldn't come in the next 2 weeks but wanted me to have the shot just in case so I'm not entirely convinced.

I suppose in situations like this all one can do is pray that all will be well; the baby will come when it is time for her to come, I only hope that times doesn't come sooner than June.

With 5 women I know having thier babies this month and another expecting hers the middle of this month I have been excited and even expressed how I would like the baby to come earlier than the due date. Although not so early that she has to stay in the hospital when I come home. I don't want the nurses to rush her off the to NICU 5 seconds after handing her to me. I want to enjoy the time with my new baby.

Baby Names

K: So just a little while ago, Ashton commented that when we have our next baby (we are currently expecting baby girl #2 at the end of this June) that we shouldn't tell anyone the names we are considering.  Why do you say that, babe?

A: Simply because that is always the question that people ask and once you tell them a name they think that is the one you will stick with. I think most people these days (and maybe it has always been this way) decide before the baby is born what it is going to be named. I can't just name a baby because I like a name, the name has to fit. Therefore, when I tell people potential names they still aren't getting the answer they were looking for when asking the question, "Do you have a name picked out?"

K: I will say that I can't recall a single person asking me if we have a name picked out.  Usually, it is more of "are there any names you like?" which is very similar.

A: IDK my BFF. Maybe I am just getting tired of the same question over and over again.

K: Ashton literally grabbed the computer from me to type that....  I'll tell you something, though... People aren't going to stop asking.  Whether we tell people any names or not, that question will always be asked.  It's a given.  It's almost like american's asking "How's it going?"  We always do it.  Do we always care for an answer?  No, but it is something we do.  People will ask what names we have picked out.

A: Well then I guess that makes my newly resolved answer of simply "No" less disappointing cause they didn't really care to know in the first place. Unless you meant something else by what you just said. Anyway, I think it will be fun to surprise family and friends with a name for the next one, they wont know what kind of name to expect and we will just announce it to everyone after it's born.

K: People will genuinely care and be interested when asking about a baby name.  I just used that comparison to point out that it is so common for peeps to ask that when they see that someone is farther along in their pregnancy.

Surprising family and friends with the name would be fun, though!  I think that we should come up with a list of names that we would never name a baby and give those names to people when they ask!  I'll start a list: Haggis, Romeo, Leon, Reginold, Arthur, Pansy, Cleopatra, Barbie, Bella...  (**Disclaimer: No offense intended to anyone who reads this and is named or likes one of those - they just aren't for us).  Do you have any names to add?

A: How about your infamous Barney, or Barkley or what ever. Anyway I think if we really did do that the names would have to be a little more believable. Like names that I like but you really don't such as Cambria, Adelynn, Kaiden, Bronson, or names that you like that I won't agree with.

K:  I agree and it's a date.  Goodnight, y'all!

We will just see where this goes...

K:  So I have had various friends who have blogs and at times I have checked them out/read blog posts.  One thing I have noticed, however, is that these individuals will almost always have these huge gaps inbetween posts.  The first post after the large gap will usually consist of them acknowledging how long it has been and then the person saying they will resolve to do it consistently and frequently again, and then it will inevitably happen again.  Well, it has been over two years since Ashty and I have done our last blog.  Rather than resolve to do it more frequently, we will just see where this goes.  Ash, do you have anything to say?

A: The End... IDK. I think it would be fun to post about this new baby and funny toddler stories. Like   the Easter egg hunt; with every egg she found she says, "Oh, you found one" because that is what I said to her when she found the first one.

Resolutions

A: New Year’s resolutions, everyone knows they are a joke. Why then are they still encouraged and discussed? Goal setting is an art. Everyone knows that a goal must be re-evaluated and assessed very so often, especially with yearlong ambitions. So when we set New Year resolutions why are they for the whole year? Why not have quarterly goals? In all reality four goals can all be the same goal but you think about more than once a year. New Years, St. Patrick’s Day of Easter, 4th of July, Halloween, and Thanks Giving. I would imagine that have four steps to a yearlong goal would make it more achievable and practical. How does anyone expect themselves to remember a goal that is set and not expected to be reached until the end of the year; that is asking for procrastination if you ask me.
As a result of this opinion I have given up on New Year’s resolutions; knowing that I am one of those infamous procrastinators. So now I am faced with the decision; knowing that if I set a goal for March I have to keep track of it more and act sooner than September. Should I instead set quarterly goals and if so what shall they be? Pondering my options it is also important to keep it reasonable and simple. For example one could set a goal that includes three or four goals within that one. But let’s be honest with ourselves; who is really going to accomplish all four goals that are disguised as one? Goals can be overwhelming, and it is better to set a goal that is just a little too easy than too hard. I don’t know about you but once I feel overwhelmed or discouraged the task at hand is half as likely to get done.

Good luck to all on your New Year’s resolutions, as for myself, I will set quarterly resolutions.

Happy New Year!