Monday, June 17, 2013

To feel success

I would first like to touch on the topic of accomplishments is relation to feeling success.

I don't know about you but my mood is greatly effected by how much I accomplish in a period of time. For example, Saturday mornings before my life with children. If I slept in till 8/8:30 and didn't shower and clean house right away I would loose motivation to get things done simply because I felt like I had already wasted too much time. It used to be similar with homework, if I wasn't able to focus and feel like I was getting anywhere with it, I would just want to stop.

At this time in my life I now find myself facing a daily battle for the feeling of success. I look back at my day and survey the condition of my house and think to myself, "What did I get done today?!" The list is very short as of late, usually consisting of things like clip toddlers nails, bathe the baby, call old landlord, and unpack one box. This list seems too short in comparison to the list of things to do. As a result I find myself not being frustrated with my toddlers need for attention and time but because I spend all my time caring for my two children. How do mothers of 4 or 5 survive?! Although I suppose once children can do more for themselves and once they are all on the same eating schedule it is the same as feeding one. ...mothers correct me if I'm wrong.

Now if I were to discuss this with my husband he would surely say to me that caring for children is a daily accomplishment, when taken into account all the things it requires. Meals, clean up after meals, battle of getting a toddler dressed and brushed, nap, snack, potty breaks, intervention when she is getting into something she shouldn't, and entertaining. This is just the list for the two year old, then throw in feeding and diapering every 3 hours accompanied by holding and comforting the sick baby. It may come down to the fact that I get as much done as the next mother in my situation.

Perhaps my shortcoming is that I like to see my accomplishments, if there is no physical proof that I did anything today, I did nothing. If I didn't get to organize the family room that still has boxes and couch cushions all over the place, or I didn't get to wash the dishes, "I didn't do anything today."  This is when frustration and discouragement hit, if everyday turns out to be like this one, my house will never again be clean!

What it comes down to...napping and getting enough sleep vs. cleaning. Not to mention the 15 minutes I spent typing this up, but it helps me recognize what I really feel and where the problem really lies.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Ashton. I really get what you are saying. Sometimes I wish I was back to having a toddler and a baby. I wouldn't feel so guilty if I don't accomplish anything/"didn't do anything today" than I do when I have ages 6 and 8.

    The mothering tasks you are doing are more important than any cleaning/tidying up tasks. We stay on top of the cleaning to eliminate germs/bacteria as often as we can...But if the house doesn't look picked up more often than you would like, I hope you smile and know it's because you Are a mother and that's the greatest thing to be!