Sunday, July 28, 2013


A: 8 years ago I never would have imagined myself saying, "I wish I had been more ambitious in my education and career goals." Honestly, having a bachelors degree is a great accomplishment for me and when I think about it, I am very proud of myself. I have never considered myself to be a very smart person, in fact, truth be told I considered dropping out of high school at one point. (Although that was not strictly for academic reasons). I had the bad habit, and still do at times, of comparing myself to others abilities and not my personal best. Yet, despite my lack of self confidence and brains, I made it through what turned into 6 years of collage to receive a piece of paper that has my name on it along with a few words.
Reflecting on my accomplishment, I began to think of others that I know who are rather smarter than myself. Unfortunately, some of these individuals cannot say as much in regards to collage, simply because they lacked the motivation, determination, or interest. For myself, it is almost like I had to prove to myself that I could do it, I had to complete schooling to know that I was capable of being smart. Now that I have finished, I wish I had confidence in myself years ago.
See, after having one child and then while preparing for the second, I found myself really wanting to become a midwife. However, that is not practical at this point. I would have 8 more years probably. And this is the reason I wish I had been more ambitious. Now that I know I can learn things and remember them with practice and study, I think I could have made it...although it would have been very stressful and difficult the whole time. So now I tell Kav that when we have money in 10 years I am going to become a doula. I won't be able to "deliver" babies, but I will be there to assist the mother during child birth and be a support and resource after words, I also want to become certified to teach Hypnobirthing. This will be my hobby.

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