Idealistically

A: Everyone always says how fortunate I am that I can stay home with the children. Yes, I am grateful that my husband has a good job. However, sometimes I wonder if I would be a better mother if I did have a little job outside of the home, or something that got me out and away from house and children. I know that sounds horrible however studies show that mothers who work outside the house tend to give their children more quality time than just quantity of time. I feel I would fall into this category. However, that is not how I wish to be…

…(picture in a movie where the actress is dreaming something up and everything goes blurry and ripples like the surface of water)…

…I would love to be the happiest, and dedicated mother and wife. I would somehow have the energy to get up and be ready for the day BY 6 when I would feed the baby. Then my 7:30 I would have breakfast ready for the rest of us. After breakfast I would be able to PATIENTLY get Lace ready for the day. Then we would have a little bit of fun; go for a walk or to the park. What I especially want to have the time to do is lesson time with Lacey! After all I got my degree in child development, I should be able to use that to provide activities for her to do that would encourage her to learn. I have even created a list of things that she should be learning and improving at this age and ways to facilitate this learning. Course then throughout the day I would spend more time feeding the baby and then fixing meals for the two of us. But throughout the day I would find another time to play with her and read her stories and arrange social time with other children her age. Then at the end of the day I would have the desire and time to fix dinner and then clean up with whole house while still having the energy to have lace help with her toys. And don’t forget time to exercise before bed!

...However, realistically I don’t even have the time to clean up after breakfast is done! I’m too tired to even think about getting up before 7, but what I regret the most is that I lose patience too often with the toddler and don’t take enough time to play with her, let alone provide educational game for her.

So what's the solution? How do I live my life so I don't feel like it is running me? Clone?